Demi Moore, Madonna, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, what do these names have in common aside from being famous? They have all dated significantly younger men. These women are always attending parties, events, red carpets, meeting millions of people, so what made them choose the young boy over so many attractive, interesting men around their age?
They are “cougars” some people would say, a term referring to women dating younger man, that according to sex and relationships columnist and writer Valerie Gibson was originated in Vancouver, British Columbia, as “a put-down for older women who would go to bars and go home with whoever was left at the end of the night. ” Twenty years ago this would have been looked at as strange and unusual, but it’s becoming more common every day. In 2003 a study by AARP revealed that 34 percent of all women over 40 in the survey were dating younger men, and 35 percent preferred it to dating older men. The most recent U. S.
Census Bureau figures show that 12 percent of all marriages were between older women and younger men. What is all the craze about? What makes these young boys so appealing to older ladies? Some of the reasons why women enjoy dating younger men are the control they can exert over them, their sexual empathy, and the feeling of being younger. The first juicy little trait these women enjoy is having more control over their partner if he is younger than with a man at the same age. Older men are set in their ways of thinking, and because of past experiences, they have formed their character and personality and are not looking to change that.
Young men are more willing to learn and being told what to do by their woman can give them a sense of stability and protection, which is also appealing for them. Some women have a motherly instinct that can be satisfied by dating someone younger, who they can take care of and at the same time tell them what to do. English writer Oliver James shares a thought in his article, “Why are so many older women into dating young men”: “They can use their wisdom to help their young men, while getting a lot back in return. Many young men also enjoy this feature of dating an older lady, which allows them to learn new things and be with a confident woman. (125) Furthermore, another important factor that these women are attracted to is the sensation of feeling young again. Dating a younger man can take them back to their college years and can even increase their ego and self image by realizing that they still attract the interest of a young man. This is the sensation these women experience while dating younger men; in the words of Dr. Jennifer Berman, urologist and expert in women’s sexual health, “feeling beautiful, feeling attractive, feeling young.
Being appreciated as a woman for all that you are and all that you’ve learned and all that you’ve become. This fuels that high self esteem, making them even more attractive to their partner. Last but certainly not least, the compatibility under the sheets. Older women and younger men soon realize that they have something in common that makes the relationship so much better, their sex drive. Online column writer Chuck Ross, points out in his article, “The Sexual Peak Myth”, how “men hit their sexual peak at the age of 18 while women hit theirs at 30-35. ” He further explains that “despite literally no scientific support for this theory, this has become “common knowledge” in our society. This makes complete sense, a women who is dating an older man, maybe in his 40’s or 50’s may have the same reading taste, enjoy listening to the same music and share their interest on visiting museums all over the world, but when it comes to the bedroom, they might be going in completely opposite directions. This issue is obviously non existent with young studs. Self proclaimed cougar and author of Hot Cougar Sex Llona Paris, shares her point of view: “Flirting with and bedding a hot younger guy can ignite a woman’s confidence. And attention from a beautiful older woman will stroke a man’s ego.
A cougar knows what she wants, particularly in the bedroom. And because of her experience in the boudoir, she has a lot to share, which is interesting for younger men. ” (78) Yvonne K. Fulright, a writer for Fox News website, on her article “Sink your teeth into the cougar”, reflects about how young men are aroused by their strong confidence, less inhibited personality and more mature sexuality than younger girls. This makes them look in control and secure about themselves, and they are not shy about sharing what the like in bed, and showing it to their young partners.
This further analysis helps the reader understand even better, why young men are more than willing to experiment having a relationship with an older women. Its understandable why some women make this choice, being able to control their partner gives them a sense of security, the benefits of feeling forever young, and the excitement of a having a perfect match inside the bedroom. All this reasons can make a steady long lasting relationship between an older women and a younger man, contrary to what was believed years ago, a successful relationship doesn’t have to be composed of an older more experienced man and a younger wome